I tivoed the Video Music Awards and 30 minutes into the pregame show, I had to take a break. I don’t think I can recap this shit.

If you’re going to open the show with this:

and follow it up with an interview with the girl responsible for this classic moment:

…I might have to pass. The vmas make no sense to me. you’re lucky to see one hour of videos if you watch mtv all day. Yet I’m supposed to care when they take three hours to give awards to artists on their 20 song playlist. At this point, the station is better at manufacturing bands than showcasing them. But what do i know? I watch The Tube. I used to be with it, but then they changed what “it” was. Now, what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s “it” seems derivative to me.