By Little Steven Van Zandt

All right, look, we’ve got a year and a half to the election, right? So let’s cut to the chase, forget about the issues these clowns are going to be avoiding anyway, and get down to what really matters: the campaign song.

So far we’ve got Chris Dodd with “Get Ready” (the Temptations); John Edwards with “Our Country” (John Mellencamp) and Dennis Kucinich with “America the Beautiful.” Wesley Clark isn’t in the race yet, but, more important, he has a song anyway: Johnny Cash’s version of Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down.” Hillary Clinton’s doing a contest on her Web site, but she’s partial to U2’s “Beautiful Day” (Oh, yeah? Where?). And Barack Obamawanted to make a statement that songs are a distraction from the issues so intentionally doesn’t have one, and now all people are talking about is his lack of a song.

Of course we all remember blasts from past campaigns (more than we do their speeches) such as John Kerry’s “No Surrender” (Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band), Howard Dean’s “A Little Less Conversation” (Elvis Presley) and my personal favorite, Bob Dole’s “Dole Man” (sung to the tune of Sam & Dave’s “Soul Man”).

As good as those are, let’s face it — they’re not particularly appropriate given the state of our country’s ecology, homelessness, infrastructure, schools, poverty, etc.

So I’d like to suggest a few titles that paint a more accurate picture for those guys jumping in late and needing a tune.

How about “Liar, Liar” (the Castaways), “All Sold Out” (the Rolling Stones), “Sorry” (the Easybeats), “So Sad About Us” (the Who), “I Take What I Want” (Sam & Dave), “I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night” (the Electric Prunes), “Beg, Borrow, and Steal” (Rare Breed), “Somewhere Nowhere” (the Chesterfield Kings), “Wake Me Shake Me” (Blues Project), “Talk Talk” (the Music Machine), “Boom Boom Out Go the Lights” (Little Walter), “Over Under Sideways Down” (the Yardbirds), “It Ain’t Me Babe” (the Turtles cover Dylan), “Lies” (the Knickerbockers), “Dirty Robber” (the Wailers), “A Must to Avoid” (Herman’s Hermits), “I’m a Loser” (the Beatles), “Can’t Help Thinking About Me” (David Bowie and the Lower Third) “Deserted Cities of the Heart” (Cream), “I Can’t Give You Anything” (the Ramones).

I’m pretty sure a few of those are still available.

See you on the radio.

(Actor and guitarist “Little” Steven Van Zandt, a founding member of Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band and host of the syndicated radio show “Underground Garage,” plays Silvio Dante on “The Sopranos,” which is in its final season.)

Reuters/Billboard